The story of an idealist who became a manager

I’m the kind of person that can be convinced by n number of people  (n being a finite number >= 3) that expecting something that ‘feels right’ can amount to idealism. Idealism being a word that is currently synonymous with stupid/dreamer/overambitious/silly.

I’ve said rather nasty things about managers who:

•  breathe down your back asking for status after they’ve already sent you 3 reminders
• assume you will work late and over weekends to meet the oh-so-crazy deadlines
• call you up on your personal number to clarify silly doubts and check for updates
• inwardly cringe when you discuss vacation plans

and lo and behold, mine is the case of the ugly duckling in reverse. I’ve magically transformed from a white swan into an ugly duckling of a manager. I mean, I have to meet the deadlines right?!

My neverending TODO list  ensures that I’m always surrounded by a weird sense of guilt and a false sense of urgency, no matter what I do. While watching a movie, in the middle of work, while sleeping! And suddenly I’m disillusioned. If I got sucked into being what I did not look up to in others, is that the norm?!

I’m confident there exists a job/career/whatever that is enjoyable, challenging, pays you well, is not stressful AND gives you enough time to indulge your other interests. This is roughly the point in similar conversations where people look at me and say, “you’re being idealistic”. And that always makes me want to kick this person. Proving is believing. I will find such an occupation. Wait and watch.

-kanch